Author's Blog of Trinidadian Brenda Mohammed, who has published 67 books and three screenplays.
Sunday, 21 December 2025
WHY I REDUCED THE SIZE OF MY SCREENPLAY
WHY I REDUCED THE SIZE OF MY SCREENPLAY
WHY I REDUCED THE SIZE OF MY SCREENPLAY
As 2025 comes to a close, I want to share some of the positive and negative remarks I received for my Pitches and Screenplays.
I started with ZEEKA CHRONICLES Sci-fi Futuristic Thriller
1. Pitch Session — Catalina Ramirez — September 4th, 2024.
Positive — “I like how the story keeps you interested; you want to keep reading it. I like how you combine futuristic technology with elements of zombie horror.”
Negative — Delivery and Clarity of tone should be worked on
**********
2. Pitch Session — Jodie Platt — September 15th 2024
Positive -“I like that the theme is good triumphing over evil, and after an event that happened 20 years before. The setting in South America, with the backdrop of Carnival, could make this visually attractive. It is also interesting that this is based on reality, using the Zeeka virus as the inciting incident.”
Negative — Unclear as to how this is a series.
*******
3. Pitch Session — John Clive Carter — October 8th 2024
Positive — It was definitely one of the most unique pitches I’ve ever read. I love that the inspiration came from a real-life crisis and that Brenda has taken it in such an imaginative direction, but I think it’s a little too ambitious for me.”
Negative — Too ambitious.
******
4, Pitch Session — Allie MacDonald — 19th October 2024
The screenplay received 4 in every area of the scorecard, but Allie passed on it.
********
5. Pitch Session — Adam Fratto — November 9th, 2024
Positive — “This is a fun and inventive concept and could make for a successful adult animation series for the right platform.”
Negative — More clarity of Tone required
******
6. Pitch Session — Catalina Ramirez — December 22nd, 2024
Positive — Your series has a bold and ambitious concept. Love how you blend the Caribbean folklore into a futuristic thriller with high stakes and strong character-driven drama. The structure is clear, fast-paced, and keeps the tension high, especially with twists like the zombie carnival attack, secret identities, and supernatural elements.” On the scorecard, Originality of Concept and Strength of Voice received 5 points.
Negative — Some moments require more emotional impact.
********
7. First 10 pages Review Sean Hussy — 10th February 2025
Negative — The screenplay was too long, with 316 pages. Needs rewrite.
*******
8. Feature Script — Scott Dow — 21st February 2025
Positive — “The concept is really intriguing. I especially like the idea of drone-like people with small replaceable electronic heads that help them blend in with regular society.”
Negative — However, lacked clarity of tone.
********
9. Pitch Session — Joe Haar — March 16th, 2025
Positive -“I love the idea of a piece within the zombie genre that blends elements of Caribbean folklore. The zombie genre is extremely populous, but this spin finds a way to introduce a new element in a way that feels appropriate and natural. It’s a very fun idea.”
Negative — Lacks clarity of tone.
*******
10. First ten pages — Nadya Panfilov — 13th April 2025
Positive- “Very inventive narrative. I like how you drew references from real-life events and then gave them your own imaginative spin. I think you have conceived really intricate and interesting interpersonal relationships and dramas with a fascinating science fiction backdrop.
Negative — Needs refining.
*******
11. Pitch Session — Karen Ceesay — May 3rd. 2025
Positive — There’s a lot of exciting potential in this pitch, and the originality of the concept, especially the Futuristic Caribbean World, really stands out as fresh, visually rich, and full of possibilities. Count me in.
Negative — A few areas need refining.
********
12. TV Feature — Brendan Kenny -3rd August 2025
ZEEKA AND THE ZOMBIES
Positive — Zeeka and the Zombies has a high concept hook, tying the real-world Zika virus to a zombie origin, giving it a fresh, region-specific twist that could stand out in the crowded undead genre. The Caribbean Island setting is a visually striking backdrop that adds production value and differentiates it from the usual post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Negative -The execution needs improvement.
********
13. Pitch Session — Jessica Zou — August 31st. 2025
Positive — Thank you for sharing your project. It’s a classic zombie story with a lot of promise. The setting is intriguing, and there’s a solid foundation to build on.
Negative — A few clarifications are needed to strengthen the pitch.
**********
14. Pitch Session — Spencer Robinson — October 29th, 2025
Positive — Delivery/ Format, Clarity of Pitch, Obstacles and Conflict, Clarity of Tone, Strength of voice, Set up of Protagonist and World.
Negative — “Limited series are hard to sell. With so many zombie shows on the air already, this just feels like way too hard a battle to fight.”
**********
CONCLUSION
I took the constructive criticism from all producers and revised ZEEKA CHRONICLES into a smaller four-episode screenplay and named it ZEEKA AND THE ZOMBIES. It was a finalist in the 13Horror.com Film & Screenplay contest 2025.
Hi Brenda,
Congratulations! Your screenplay has been selected as a Finalist in the Horror Screenplay Contest 2025!
Finalist status is only awarded to the screenplays that scored high enough to place in the top 25% of entries.
Thanks again for submitting Zeeka and the Zombies to the 13Horror.com Film & Screenplay Contest.
‘Zeeka and The Zombies’ stands out for its unique blend of genres and vivid setting. I particularly enjoyed the richly imagined futuristic Caribbean world in 2036. The way you fused sci-fi elements with dark fantasy and Caribbean folklore created a backdrop that was both unique and deeply immersive. This setting, with its advanced technology, really anchored the story in a distinctive environment. Very creative!
You’ve worked in several well-executed plot developments that kept the tension high throughout. The revelation that Chief of Police Grady was the true mastermind was pulled off really nicely. The touching twist when it was revealed that Zeeka, despite his villainy, had not activated the killer gadgets in Number Nine’s false head, subtly wishing for his son to live, also caught me quite off guard.
Your screenplay delivers on several horror fronts. The gruesome scene during the Carnival massacre, vividly depicting the (splendidly specific) 125 deaths and 75 severe injuries, with descriptions of blood-splattered areas and severed body parts, was a delight!
Overall, Zeeka and the Zombies is a compelling and ambitious work that successfully weaves together a complex narrative with strong characters and memorable horror elements. There are moments of humour, witty dialogue, and light-hearted interactions woven into the narrative, which made it a very entertaining read.
Best regards,
Andrew
Andrew Hannon
Contest Director
I thank all the above for helping me to achieve this.
I am now looking to sell my screenplay.
